kō-pə-ˈse-tik

1023am

Experimenting HERE.

352am

Crankin it out

905pm

I'm doing much better, thank you.  

Thank you to everyone who called, texted or left a comment to make sure all was well.  I suppose Thanksgiving couldn't have come at a better time really.  Just when I needed people, family and friends, there they were literally at my front door (the party was at my house) ready for some good food and quality time together.  

You have no idea how much I'm really looking forward to the end of this semester, holidays with my best friends and a loving family along with going to volunteer at camp... also known as my annual breath of fresh air.  All I need to get the year started is five days at this thing, something I've been going to since the 7th grade.  Crazy long, huh?  I started out a camper, switched over to become a counselor, during and shortly after college was a co-director and these days volunteering mostly to help where necessary.  There's no other event like it... when else do you have about 150 middle & high school students along with all the 20 something year old counselors and directors from around the bay not only Methodist but also Filipino.  It's life-changing to say the least.  

To that end, I look forward to December 16 at approximately 6:45 pm.  That'll be the end of my last class.  Oh, the day... I cannot wait.  :)  

1227am

Today I had an appointment with my doctor, for some chest/back/neck pains I've been having.  During the visit she asked me a simple question, if I was experiencing any severe anxiety or depression.  To my surprise, I started to get all cloudy-eyed when she asked, no one ever has.  I had to snap out of it to answer, thinking about it more might've produced a real tear, maybe more.  I was a bit taken aback when she asked, but almost thankful at the same time.  Yes, of course I have my friends who I'm close with and want to know what's going on, but no one lately has really truly wondered how I've been or maybe they have...  Even if someone did ask, would I tell them that right now, that lately balancing a full load at work, school, driving to and from school, family, more school, friends and what little social life I have along with everything in between is sucking the happiness (if that's what it's called) right out of me... that lately I just want to stop.  I'm tired.  I want to quit school.  I want to take a vacation far away.  I want to sleep... sleep... sleep.  The way she looked at me, so honest about wanting to know, it was real & I appreciated it. 

Uncle Johnny

I still smell like him.  This morning I volunteered to pick up some binders Cel forgot at Grace UMC from yesterday's camp meeting.  Came in as the choir was practicing for that Sunday's worship service and my dad's oldest living brother, Uncle Johnny, was there preparing for their Bible study session.  As soon as I said hello and gave him a hug, his scent of cologne clung to my hoodie... so much that I can still smell it on me, a whole day of events later.  That particular scent and Uncle Johnny all together remind me of his dad... my Apong Lakay.  The two of them, rarely ever in public and not looking sharp, just like Uncle this morning with his brown tweed suit, shirt and tie.  Same with my Apong, his picture on my desk as I type this, from the early 80s... brown wide-lapel coat with tan slacks, a crisp white shirt and a handkerchief peeking out of his jacket pocket. Pangs of nostalgia hit, as I very much miss him and my grandma, her in the photo standing next to him.  

It feels like Autumn

Yesterday, as I was leaving my parents' place in Vallejo, it bit... 40 degrees Fahrenheit.  I know, I know... it's not much and it'll continue to get colder, but when you're used to a whole 10 degrees warmer (as it was in SF when I got there), it makes a noticeable difference.  It's more than the chilly evenings though, fall/autumn... it brings a scent much like the other seasons, yet so clearly distinct.  It's a crisp smell that reminds me of Halloween and Thanksgiving with my family, bundling up in my favorite scarf and wool coat,  a cup of hot coffee in the morning, and the 5pm darkness... It's my favorite season.  

He turned 26

Front

Inside

...Joel.  I found this card and felt it was for him.  Well, more like... I found this card and his birthday was next and I knew he'd appreciate it.  And yes if you're wondering, I still got him a little gift inspite of it all... because that's how I do.

...from MP via Google Reader

This made me smile. Happy Friday!

So if life gives you lemons, you look at those lemons, shake your head no and throw those lemons back in life’s face and say: I wanted limes mothafucka! LIMES!!!  - John Mayer

 

I miss this.

The start..., originally uploaded by ccchristineeee.

Next year, definitely will be running something next year.

<3

Erwin proposed to Amanda a couple weeks ago (hooraaaaay).  Congratulations you two!!!

Her name is Angel ;)